Having tried to live as a Catholic campus minister and as a lesbian woman, my authentic self, piece by piece, slowly broke apart.

I was asked to hide, to "be discreet" about my same-sex marriage, and later was offered a severance package with an agreement to remain silent about the discrimination that I felt took place.

I was shocked and couldn't help but feel shame and unworthiness.

At first, I thought I could be an "undercover Catholic," sacrificing myself for the good of my students.

As a liturgist, I wanted to give them the experience of a radically loving and accepting church — the church I desired, but didn't experience.

Being asked to discreetly hide my most authentic human relationship wounded me more deeply than I could have ever imagined.

Falling short

I lived as a Catholic my entire life — born, raised, educated from kindergarten to master's degree.

My entire career was in the church.

It was all I knew; it framed how I saw the world and how I made decisions. I followed the rules. I lived understanding the shame of sin and strove for perfection because, after all, we are supposed to be like Jesus.

I always fell short, and who else could I blame but myself?

I believed even illogical teachings because I was told "it's a mystery."

So, even in times of questioning, the fear of discovering the shocking truth always forced me back to submissive belief.

But deep inside my heart, I knew something wasn't right.

As I studied and completed my master's degree in theology, it became clearer that the institutional church so many of us have experienced was built for power and control.

It is based on the ideas of a few at the expense of many, with resistance to growth, transformation, and change within itself.

I looked at my 8-year-old niece's religion lesson about sin and repentance and thought:

"No wonder we are so fearful to leave, no wonder we don't question or trust our own intuition.

"Every choice and thought has been made for us and indoctrinated since childhood.

"No wonder we struggle with self-worth and self-esteem.

"No wonder so many of us feel we must not be good enough for God to give us the life we desire.

"Worst of all, no wonder many of us start thinking we are inherently bad or unlovable."

I know this to be true after nine years of working with college students — many different people from many different places with similar stories of pain and struggles with self-worth.

It's my story, too.

Born in 1983, I am on the cusp of being both a Millennial and a Gen-Xer.

I guess I am also a member of what Benedictine Sr Joan Chittister has termed the Catholic "in-between generation."

Former Catholics: 12.8% of young adults

A recent survey conducted by St. Mary's Press and the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate found that approximately 12.8 percent of young adults in the U.S. ages 18-25 are former Catholics, and I can only anticipate that number growing.

Millennials are aware of the hypocrisy as well as the harm the church is doing to its own members in losing sight of Jesus' Gospel message of love.

"Could the institutional church be wrong? Could it actually be doing harm?"

I never thought those words would come out of my mouth.

I wrestled with these questions for years, ashamed to talk about it because I was a campus minister.

I also knew the answers the church would give; I was taught and trained to give them.

Those answers didn't work anymore. We needed new questions. Continue reading

• Image: MySpace

This meeting, which begins on Monday, will bring 300 young people from across the world for six days.

The outcome from the gathering will be presented to the members of the October Synod of Bishops on Young People, together with other documentation, for their reflection and study.

McCafferty is a member of the Family & Young Church team in the Archdiocese of Wellington.

She took part in the preparatory meeting in Rome last year and has been part of the re-establishment of a National Council for Young People.

She served on the organising committee for the Aotearoa Catholic Youth Festival in December and has been involved with Life Teen Summer Camps.

McCafferty will be posting about the experience on social media and inviting young New Zealanders to contribute their own reflections throughout the week of meetings.

Click on here to follow her posts about the meeting.

The Vatican is also inviting young people, aged 16-29 the world over to get involved, through social media, and take part in the discussion and make their voices heard.

Anyone in this age group can also participate by commenting on different questions online.

But to do so they need to visit the Vatican's webpage for the Synod or this Facebook page and register by Friday 16^th March.

The date for the meeting was chosen to enable all participants to take part, at the end of the meeting, in the celebration of the Eucharist on the Palm Sunday with the Holy Father in Saint Peter's Square at the 33rd World Youth Day 2018.

The theme is Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favour with God.

Source

Supplied New Zealand Catholic Bishops' Conference

The New Zealand Catholic Bishops are asking those aged 16 to 29 years to share their views about life, faith, and their experience of Church.

The feedback will be collated through an online survey which goes live 9am Sunday, 23 July.

People can be answered individually or in groups.

The survey is part of an international effort by Pope Francis to better understand the lives, attitudes and concerns of young people around the world and is a the lead up to the Synod on Young people, faith and vocational discernment, in Rome, October 2018.

"Every young person has something to say to others... all of us need to listen to you," said Pope Francis.

"Even young people who consider themselves agnostics, even young people whose faith is lukewarm; even young people who no longer go to Church; even young people who consider themselves atheists."

Palmerston North Bishop Charles Drennan, and Secretary of the Bishops' Conference, is very keen young people have their say.

"This is a fantastic opportunity for young New Zealanders to have their voice heard on the international stage on a range of topics concerning their faith and place within the Church.

"Young people's questions and experiences form part of the Church's constant korero or conversation about how to live our universal faith in the here and now."

The survey will run for five weeks and the closing date for responses is midnight Sunday, 27 August 2017.

Source

• Supplied: Amanda Gregan New Zealand Catholic Bishops' Conference
• Image: ACBC Youth Ministry

Higgins died suddenly on the weekend and her body was taken home to her parents near Pawarenga, in Northland.

The 25 -year-old was a real estate agent for Barfoot and Thompson and member of the Franklin Local Board.

At 10:15 Sarah was taken briefly taken to Ngai Tupoto Marae and then carried up the hill and placed in the centre of the church, draped with cream-coloured flowers.

Catholic Catechist Anthony Rudolph led the service where he spoke of the love that was present in the church. Watch video

A candle burned that was left at the church as koha by the family of Pat White, who was Sarah's great aunty.

White had her funeral service at the same church around six weeks ago.

Higgins came originally from Pawarenga in the Far North and went to school at Whangarei Girls' High School.

In a Facebook post, Higgins introduced herself as "a young girl from Northland who left home and school at 16 because of dyslexia."

She became a successful real estate agent and one of the youngest ever local body politicians when she was elected to represent the Pukekohe subdivision of the Franklin Local Board in Auckland at the age of 22.

Her death has shocked fellow politicians who knew her.

Franklin Local Board chairman Andy Baker said the death left them devastated.

"This is a loss not only for the board but for the community. It's such a tragic waste of a wonderful young life with so much to offer. Our thoughts are with her friends and family."

Higgins had just started learning golf, was an avid gym-goer and a dog-lover.

She had been working tirelessly on a new Bill which would ensure tenants are told if they are living in a meth-contaminated house.

She presented the policy idea to a National Party conference in 2015.

If passed, it would mean landlords can enter a tenanted property to test it for meth contamination as long as they give sufficient notice.

Source

• nz.news.yahoo.com
• nzherald.co.nz
• newshub.co.nz
• stuff.co.nz
• nzherald.co.nz
• Image: nzherald.co.nz

For counselling and support

• Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time
• Lifeline - 0800 543 354
• Samaritans - 0800 726 666
• Chinese Lifeline - 0800 888 880
  (for people who speak Mandarin or Cantonese)
• Youthline - 0800 376 633, free text 234 or email talk@youthline.co.nz
  (for young people, and their parents, whanau and friends)
• What's Up - 0800 942 8787
  (for 5-18 year olds; 1 pm to 11 pm)
• The Lowdown - visit the website, email team@thelowdown.co.nz or free text 5626 (emails and text messages will be responded to between 12 noon and 12 midnight)
• SPARX - an online self-help tool that teaches young people the key skills needed to help combat depression and anxiety.

Dialogue in the style of the Second Vatican Council, rather than laying down the law, is the way to evangelize them. The church is on their side, seeking to teach all men and women of good will how to be fully human through following in the steps of the Lord.

Recently I saw the Catholic Church at its best. It was the occasion of my youngest godson's first communion.

I remember that day as one of those rare times in life which are purely and simply happy. But I am conscious that he will soon enter his teenage years, and that the sacrament of confirmation, offered at 13, is colloquially known as the "sacrament of exit."

When I entered the Catholic Church in 1965, at the close of Vatican II, there were 2 million Sunday Massgoers in England and Wales.

Today, despite the influx of Catholic immigrants from Poland, Lithuania, the Philippines, and elsewhere, there are no more than a million.

I once challenged the late Archbishop of Westminster, Cardinal Basil Hume, about this decline.

If the church were a business firm, I said, he and his directors would all have been sacked, wouldn't they?

It was not the church which had failed, the cardinal replied, but the culture which had succeeded. Shopping was the new religion.

Ever since the sexual and social revolution of the '60s, it was inevitable that the hold of the Christian churches of the West would loosen. Continue reading

Image: St Thomas More Parish