The new priest found this was indeed true and he dropped the title, although doing so made some lay people uncomfortable.

One parishioner said calling a priest by his first name was sacrilegious. That attitude in itself seemed a very good reason for abandoning the word "Father."

But in the context of the beauty of the Church, this was a small concern for me, and only recently has it re-emerged in a wise statement from John our cardinal.

His words raise awareness of the danger of dependency.

A priest may find himself isolated in the role of parent while the parishioners remain as children. There can be a general attitude of "What is Father going to do about us?"

Parishioners may passively worship the maps of Church teaching instead of travelling with those maps, on their own spiritual journey.

Another set of unhelpful terms is "Shepherds" and "Sheep."

Jesus Christ called himself the Shepherd. He told Peter to feed his sheep and lambs, but he did not call Peter a shepherd.

Earlier, he'd said to his disciples, "I send you out as sheep amongst wolves."

I believe we are all sheep.

The general danger of titles, be they religious or secular, is that they create an "us and them" division in society.

An "us and them" division is certainly against all Jesus' teachings.

In the world view, there is probably no right or wrong about wearing a title connected with an honour.

Some people are comfortable with that.

Others may appreciate the kindness of their country, but at the same time refuse to adopt a title that is going to erect a fence between them and their neighbours.

In the church, it can be natural if a young priest wants to be called "Father" as he feels his way into his vocation. However, when he has outgrown the need, he should feel free to let the title go.

If we comb through the gospels, we can collect dozens of sayings from Jesus that warn of the danger of titles and elevated positions.

Of himself, Jesus said to the man who called him Good Master, "Why do you call me good? No one is good, but God."

To his disciples, he said, " You shall call no man Father but your Father who is in Heaven."

And again, "He who would be first must be last and the servant of all."

Yes, I know we don't worship words, and we hold the sayings of Jesus as parables that speak to the heart.

However, we do know what is important and everlasting in the Church, and what is superficial and man-made.

The latter will change.

How do we decide?

Perhaps we can be guided by the man in the Vatican who phoned a parishioner in another country.

His first words were, "Francis here."

• Joy Cowley is a wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and retreat facilitator.

As reported by CathNews, Dew first raised the issue of honorifics in an internal church newsletter.

Describing the "Don't call me Father" call as 'simple', Dew however hopes that not using the clerical title might go some way to changing the clerical attitude and transforming the Church.

"Most people already called him by his first name, and lots of other priests had the same experience", he told Stuff.

Encouraged by priests who have followed his lead, he remains realistic, saying he knew some still "had the attitude that I'm the one in charge".

Headwinds

Massey University retired professor of religious studies, Peter Lineham thinks Dew has an uphill battle.

Lineham said several priests he has spoken with regarded Dew's comments as "the oddity of John Dew".

Lineham, however, disagrees with the priests and said their opposition to Dew's comments is understandable.

He said some priests were clearly attracted by the high status of the role.

"He's on to something - the status implied by the title 'Father' gives the priest a peculiar exemption," said Lineham.

"So often families protect people internally, and I suspect John Dew's reflecting precisely on those grounds."

However, Lineman told Stuff he is not confident the Catholic Church will change.

"I think it would take an enormous amount to move that language from Catholicism, because at the heart of it is the special status of the priest, and the title is one way to preserve it.

"And deep down there is a deep protectiveness about the priesthood: it's the essence of the Catholic church."

Deborah Pead of Pead PR holds less hope for change, calling it "the most terrifying PR job on the planet".

"They are dreaming if they think dropping the word 'Father' is going to deliver anything meaningful for them - that should be just one thing in a whole suite of activities.

"They need not just a re-brand but almost to rebirth the organisation," Pead told Stuff.

Source

• Stuff
• CathNews

In his article, Roche says that priests may be able to make some small changes to overcome clericalism if they gave up expecting to be called "Father."

"In August last year, Pope Francis wrote a Letter to the People of God, to all of us," said John Dew.

"The Holy Father appealed to all of God's people to take action against "clericalism" which he sees as the source of abuse perpetrated by priests and bishops."

"Making a choice to tell the people we serve not to call us Father (or for me "Your Eminence" or "Cardinal") might seem a very small thing to do, but it may be the beginning of the reform in the Church which we have been asked to do by Pope Francis," said Dew.

Roche gave three reasons why priests should not be called "Father."

1. The Gospel

Priests wish to be disciples of Jesus who said, "You are not to be called 'Master,' for you have but one Master, and you are all brothers and sisters.

And do not call anyone on earth 'Father,' for you have but one Father, who is in Heaven" (Mt 23: 8-9).

2. Not children, but brothers and sisters

It can make people put others into a relationship of parent and child.

It is not possible to have equal relationships between adults who are brothers and sisters if we call one of them "Father."

If we want the Church to be a family where we care for and look after one another we need to reflect on these words from the Second Vatican Council: "Even though some, by the will of Christ, are made doctors and pastors for the good of others, in terms of the dignity and activities of all the faithful in the edification of the Body of Christ, there is true equality among all." Lumen Gentium 32

3. Expression of an emotional dependence

The practice of calling the priest "Father" can be unhealthy because it can become an expression of dependence which is based on a false and unreal idea of obedience.

Fatherhood is a mixture of affection and authority. But it can be dangerous, especially if it is made sacred.

Source

• mcshwellington.org
• Image: Archdiocese of Wellington

Though he was a primary school principal whose career was spent in Southland and Canterbury, his former pupils and colleagues are everywhere.

"He was a nice man," they would always tell me, "a good man." He really was.

Forgive me if everybody feels this way about their father but I cannot shake a conviction that my brothers and sisters and I were exceptionally and undeservedly lucky.

As the oldest I've often worried how I could possibly do justice to his qualities when it came to his funeral. The worry became more urgent late last year when, aged 89, he began to go downhill and went into care.

He lingered until Thursday of last week. My siblings in Christchurch were called to the rest home in the early hours.

His breathing had become laboured and he could barely speak but his eyes had lit up briefly at my arrival from Auckland.

Between us, we never left his bedside until almost 8pm when we went to a nearby room for a bite to eat. That is when he let go. We were gone barely a minute when a nurse summoned us.

I don't know whether someone in the terminal stage of congestive heart failure can make the decision to let go but if so, it would be typical of him to wait until he was alone. He would be thinking of us, sparing us the alarm of his last gasp.

Considerate is the word that comes closest to describing him. He was considerate not just in the thoughtful way of anticipating other people's ordinary needs and wishes, which he did constantly. He was considerate in conversation.

Like most people of the generation that grew up without television he knew how to make conversation, and when you were with him he was not comfortable unless there was conversation. For him the art came naturally.

He was interested in everything you thought and everything you were doing. He was not interested in talking about himself. Continue reading

• John Roughan is an editorial writer and columnist for the New Zealand Herald.

In an interview with the magazine Credere, the Pope explained his decision to call a Jubilee Year of Mercy.

The Jubilee Year might help the faithful to recognise "the maternal dimension of God", the Pope observed.

He explained that he was speaking of "the tenderness, typical of a mother, God's tenderness that comes from his innate paternity. God is both father and mother".

At the conclusion of the interview, Pope Francis disclosed that he plans to make a number of public gestures to underline the theme of the Jubilee.

He said that "one Friday each month I will make a different gesture".

He did not discuss what those gestures might be.

Continue reading

"To whom do I pray? To the Almighty God? He is too far off. Ah, I can't hear Him. Neither did Jesus. To whom do I pray? To a cosmic God? That's quite normal these days, is it not?," he said

"You must pray to the Father! It is a strong word, ‘Father'. You must pray to him who generated you, who gave you life."

Continue reading

The man, who has not missed one day of contact with his 9 year old daughter, pleaded before a NSW judge not to agree the request by the birth mother's lesbian ex-partner.

"She knows me as her father. She know me as her parent," he told the court.

"The person who's going to suffer is my daughter. She knows that her father is going to be removed from her life. She's going to have three mothers and no father and I think the whole thing is an absolute outrage."

NSW law provides for only two parents to be listed on the birth certificate, and according to the Sydney Morning Herald, this case highlights the legal inadequacies when dealing with multi-parent families.

Before the child's birth in 2001, the lesbian couple, wrote to the man referring to him as "daddy" and talking about their future as a family together.

The man, over the years, contributed tens of thousands of dollars to the care and education of 'his daughter' and while away, allowed the birth mother to live in his house because she was short of money.

The birth mothers ex-partner wanted the father removed from the birth certificate to reduce confusion with the likes of government departments and schools.

Recognising the powerful symbolism of being on a birth certificate, a reluctant Judge Walmsley said he would probably have to grant the request.

He will give his decision next month.

Sources:

• SMH
• Image: Daily Mail