Technological advances and intellectual knowledge we continue to acclaim, leaves us with the sense that we are in control and that there is enough time to achieve what it is we want to achieve.

We become complacent about the need to take care of ourselves… always something more to do.

Some of this is driven by our desire to save the world, others driven by the desire we have to reach the many goals we have set ourselves - many of them superficial.

The simple reality is that we are not in charge and that moment of realisation comes to us when we learn of the fragility of the human spirit. For some, that lesson comes unexpectedly and hard.

Late last year I slowly became unwell.

The stress of the lifestyle I was living, the demands I made of myself, the demands other people made of me and expected to meet became too great and as 2014 closed I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that had spread to my liver.

No treatment, no cure, only palliative care. I'd waited too long to look after myself and my body broke.

To say that it was and is a shock is a major understatement. And as I look at the amazing family and group of friends I'm surrounded with as I now travel a different journey warms my heart. At the same time, there are feelings of trepidation about what lies ahead.

I'm now focused on the moments of magic that are appearing in front of me: The laughter of my grandchildren; a smile of a friend attempting to walk this journey with me and the pure beauty and strength of my adult children as they battle their anger, grief and sadness at what is happening to their beloved mother.

It's time to leave the work to others now.

My wish is that others will learn to stop before I did, to take into account the limitations of their physical bodies and to take the time to listen to the yearnings of their soul. It is in the taking care of ourselves we learn the ability to take care of others.

"When we walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen :

There will be something solid for you to stand on, or, you will be taught to fly." "Faith" by Patrick Overton - "The Leaning Tree"

• Celia Lashlie

Celia Lashlie died on 16 February.

Speaking to a Traffic Institute conference in Hamilton yesterday, the former prison officer turned author admonished wealthy, so-called "helicopter mums", who "hover" over their sons, refusing to accept they can be blamed for anything.

"Part of the reason, I think, why we have the carnage we have on our roads is because the first time he gets freedom from his mother is when he buys a car.

"And suddenly he starts to practise his decision making and he runs the orange light and a truck is coming the other way."

Society needs to care enough about boys to say no, she said.

"There is a saying: One boy equals one brain and two boys equal half a brain.

The Transport Ministry classifies young males as high-risk drivers, who make up 25 per cent of all at-fault drivers in fatal and serious injury crashes.

The problem is that some mothers refuse to allow their sons to learn about actions and consequences, she said.

"Mothers who go into schools and tell the school they are wrong for disciplining their son. We have to allow them to live with their consequences."

Mrs Lashlie said shock-horror campaigns to stop road accidents did not work because teenage boys had a `it won't happen to me' mentality.

She has a pretty good idea of the type of campaign she wants to see.

"It's a simple ad: Mothers, stop making their lunches.

"Mothers, stop picking up their laundry," she said.

Inspector Leo Tooman, Waikato road policing manager, agrees.

"Every mum thinks their son is a good boy. The reality is that they are not all good boys. My philosophy is that we try to keep them alive until they are 25 and then they are on their own."

Mothers need the courage and conviction to stand up and say `no' to their sons, she said.

• Source: Waikato Times
• Image: The Otago Daily Times