How did you meet Bishop O'Connell?

Bill Chapman: The L.A. archdiocese is the largest in the nation. It's broken up into five regions and there are five regional bishops.

At the time, I was out at Holy Family in South Pasadena.

I had been nominated to be part of the Regional Pastoral Council for the San Gabriel Region.

When I first got on to the council, I was concerned about the sexuality issue. But I had heard that the bishop who was then-assigned to the council was very open to LGBT people.

So I thought, okay, I'll be fine.

And then, like that, he's gone.

We had an interim for two years.

Then I was elected as moderator of the council. And that was when Bishop Dave was assigned to the region.

We had emailed back and forth a couple of times to say hello, and he seemed like a nice guy.

But the first time I met him was at his first meeting with the council. He asked us to do a faith-sharing exercise. It was a pretty deep experience.

I said to myself afterwards, "Bill, this guy is going to be totally open to whoever you are, and you should talk to him."

So after the meeting, I went up to him, and we started conversing.

I just said, "Bishop, I hope you don't mind, but I really feel very comfortable with you. And I'd just like to share my story with you."

I told him that I am a gay man and that I had been with the church, volunteering, for a long time.

The look on his face, in his eyes, was just this response with such depth and warmth. He immediately put me at ease. The very first thing he said to me was, "Thank you for staying. Thank you for not leaving.

"We need you. We really need you."

I shared more of my experience.

He's listening, and I'm crying. It was so beautiful and warm and such a Christ-like response. It did more for my own personal feelings of acceptance of my place in the church than anything else.

I had heard similar messages from other priests but still hadn't believed it. I thought: Well, okay, but what if they're wrong?

But Bishop Dave's response came from such a place of gratitude for me and who I am.

For those who didn't know the bishop, what was he like?

Bishop Dave was seriously funny.

He was constantly throwing out one-liners, so I started to get a different impression of Jesus through him.

Here was this white guy from Ireland, who, for 40 years, had been in South Central Los Angeles. He was in parishes that were mostly African American, Hispanic and everybody loved him.

Bishop Dave brought me to a place where I never thought I could go.

It gave me so much freedom.

He was totally welcomed because he walked the walk and talked the talk and he lived out the existence of all the people he ministered to.

He knew where people were on their journeys, what was going on in their lives. He just made everyone feel like they were so special, just a perfect child of God.

What was your experience like in the church prior to meeting the bishop? Had you reconciled your faith and sexual orientation?

Internally, I still hadn't felt fully accepted before I met Bishop Dave.

In my parishes, at Holy Family and at St Monica, I was accepted.

But I was hearing so many mixed messages from bishops, even from our own archbishop.

Sort of a tacit acceptance: as long as you're living your life a certain way, you're doing okay.

But if you stray from that, you're not really accepted, you're sinning, and you probably wouldn't be eligible for employment in the archdiocese.

I came out in my late 20s, in the early 1990s, when there was very little acceptance in society. And definitely none in the church. I think that just stayed with me, was a part of me. Some days, still, it's like, wait, am I okay?

Once I had started feeling acceptance in the church, I got very busy with all sorts of committees and councils and leading fundraisers.

I thought, well, if I'm busy, if I'm working hard, they'll like me, and I'll be accepted.

But Bishop Dave brought me to a place where I never thought I could go.

It gave me so much freedom.

He planted in my mind the idea that I don't have to always be producing and doing all this work.

I don't have to be a Martha all the time in order to be accepted in the church.

That I'm fine just by virtue of who I am.

In light of that, what was it specifically about your interaction with the bishop that was meaningful?

I had endured some horrible experiences in the confessional.

I was told that I was disordered and that there was very little hope for me.

The parish I grew up in was very conservative, sort of anti-everybody. But it was clear there was no room in the church for LGBT people.

So I chose my parishes very carefully.

If I heard an anti-LGBT message, I knew I wouldn't be coming back to that parish. I won't subject myself to hearing that I am not good.

But Bishop Dave's first words were gratitude to me for staying and wanting to be part of the church.

He talked about how many LGBT people had left.

He understood why they left, and he didn't necessarily blame them for leaving.

He was grateful that I had stayed.

He looked me right in the eyes, with those bright blue Irish eyes, and let me know I was fine.

Even as I was crying, he put his hand on my shoulder very pastorally.

I could feel warmth and comfort. And I felt safe. I really did. I felt safe. And that was it. Continue reading

• Michael O'Loughlin writes for Outreach, a product of America Magazine

News of O'Connell's Feb 18 murder shocked the nation after it was reported that he died after suffering multiple gunshot wounds at his Hacienda Heights home. The local and wider Catholic community mourned O'Connell, who was remembered as a man of peace dedicated to serving the poor and immigrants.

Medina, 61, is the husband of O'Connell's housekeeper, and it remains unclear what the motive for the murder might have been. He is being held on more than $2 million bail and will have his next court hearing May 17.

Before his not guilty plea, Los Angeles District Attorney George Gascón said in a Feb 22 press conference that Medina admitted to the murder.

Read More

"He admitted that he had done the killing and we believe we recovered the weapon that they were using, and we have other evidence from the bed, certain things that indicate that they were in the place where the killing occurred," Gascón said in Spanish, translated here by CNA.

Additionally, Gascón revealed that O'Connell had sustained multiple gunshot wounds.

In a press conference earlier this week, it was reported that when O'Connell was found he had sustained "at least" one gunshot wound to his upper body while in his bedroom, Los Angeles Sheriff's Department (LASD) Sheriff Robert Luna said. Read More

Auxiliary Bishop David G. O'Connell was found dead with a gunshot wound to his upper torso in the bed of his home on Saturday. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

Authorities confirmed the arrest of the housekeeper's husband on Monday, following a multi-hour standoff.

Carlos Medina faces charges O'Connell's slaying. Weapons were found at his home in Torrance and ballistic tests are pending.

In addition a surveillance video had captured a vehicle like the one Medina drives, in the driveway of O'Connell's home at around the potential time of the murder.

Los Angeles County Sheriff Robert Luna did not cite Medina's motive.

However, he said a tipster had told authorities Medina was acting strangely after the killing and claimed that the bishop owed him money for doing occasional handyman work around his house.

Police say Medina's wife had worked as a housekeeper for O'Connell.

Neighbours say she had cared for the bishop's dog for roughly a decade. Her husband also sometimes walked the clergyman's dog himself.

Asked if the police were speaking to her, Luna was emphatic.

"The detectives are absolutely interviewing her," he said. "As far as we know at this time she's been fully cooperative."

Service with love

Los Angeles Archbishop José H. Gómez lauded O'Connell for his friendship, his selflessness and his focus on the community he had loved and served for decades.

"He was a peacemaker with a heart for the poor and the immigrant, and he had a passion for building a community where the sanctity and dignity of every human life was honoured and protected," Gomez said in a statement.

"He was the help of the helpless and the hope of the hopeless," added Los Angeles County Supervisor Janice Hahn, who described O'Connell as a longtime friend.

"He knew that serving God meant serving man.

"He was also a good friend, and I will miss him greatly. I know we all will."

Gomez described O'Connell as a man of "deep prayer" who cared for everyone during his 45 years with the Church.

Luna also praised O'Connell, saying: "He's been a pillar in our community, known as a peacemaker, with a passion for serving those in need."

A personal tribute from Kathryn Lopez in the National Review says:

"... I keep thinking: Bishop Dave may be the most Catholic person I have ever met.

"He was a minister and brother to the gang member, the community organiser, the Opus Dei priest, and the pro-life sidewalk counsellor. He embodied the love of Christ without getting consumed by the temptations of ideologies.

And he said his secret was no secret. He prayed. Specifically, he said that if you woke up in the morning and prayed, all the mysteries of the Rosary ... your life would be changed.

For Catholics looking for a Lenten challenge ... that's one to consider."

Source

• LA Times
• National Review
• Daily Mail